Bad Hair Day

Mom used to get her hair done ever week.  During a period of one and one half months, I could see her hair was not getting set.   It looked “horrible,” but I also was aware that it might be Mom not letting them do her hair anymore.  So, I mentioned it to staff.  Typically they  took care of things right away. 

The next time I came, still no change, and so I mention it again to yet another staff person; and than another the next time.  At the end of this period, I left a message for the Director of Nursing.  Barb got back immediately and said she would look into the “bad hair” situation. 

The next day Mom’s hair was done.  She looked beautiful.    The lesson here is ask, do not blame.  By asking nicely, I also found out some major things the nursing home was dealing with.  Staffing changes which I could see from my visits, all of which, seemed fine to my eyes.  (Just not my Mother’s hair)   The Head Nurse on my Mother’s floor was out on leave due to major health issues, a young staff person had passed away, and the beautician had been on vacation for a bit. 

All were helpful for me to know, but most helpful I believe, was my attitude of not looking to blame someone.  It allowed me to stay calm and not spin out of control over something I could not fix on my own.  It allowed me to see the big picture, and say what’s up?  What can we do?  Is this someway we can get back on track?  Or is Mom just not cooperating anymore? 

“We” still working on finding out if Mom will sit for a perm or if a set is all she can handle anymore.   Things change.  We have to learn to stay calm, and ask for more information so we can make an informed decision and do what is best for the person we love.