Feeling Vulnerable

I’m not so sure that I would say my life is fascinating living out here as at times and especially now with my illness having to cope with all the customs and traditions within the Indonesian culture can be extremely difficult for my brain to deal with and can make me very disconcerted, I know that Sumi does all she can to protect me but at times I do feel incredibly vulnerable to (as it were) the outside world around me and all the gossiping that goes on along with the weird glances that are centred in my direction, it’s at times like that I get very home sick as I’ve not seen my home land the ‘UK’ for more than a few months within the past almost 30 years and I really do have a longing for home, in fact some time ago I wrote a poem about it that was published in my book of poems ‘Lamenting Ink’ I’ve copied at the bottom of this for you to read and hope that it doesn’t bore you too much!

“Just Once More”

I had always been a travelling man,

That wandered the world… with a trade in my hands,

To the distant realms… and cultures of afar,

Where golden sunsets gave birth to the nights stars,

Then came the day when my journeys did end,

As my wandering mind… found an unwanted friend,

That led me astray from my chosen path…

Without hope of new life… just memories of what’s past,

Now my thoughts go wandering… on their own,

Forever yearning the green, green, grass of home…

Just to stand once more on the Britannic shores,

Where my childhood dreams first began their birth,

To hold my grandchildren… of whom I’ve never seen,

Listening to their laughter… that resounds in my dreams…

Their eyes might shine… and with shrills of delight…

When I tell them stories of my adventurous life,

But I know from within, this will never be…

As the demon inside… has a tighter hold of me,

Now the more I struggle to get free of its bonds…

So my home land doth fade… with the setting sun…

Barry ©                  

 E mail: barry_thebread@yahoo.co.uk

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