Harry Shares Insights To

Late Stages of Alzheimer’s

Harry Urban is another one of your featured Experts on the Dementia Chats webinars.  In fact Harry and Rick Phelps of Memory People are our Founding Experts living with the disease.  Today Harry wrote a short and poignant piece about what he say and felt as they visited a woman in end stages of the disease.  I thank all of those living with the disease who are so willing to change our Dementia Care Culture, by sharing their insights.

You can find Harry Urban on Facebook. 

We encourage all of you to join Dementia Chats on Facebook as well.  It is an open group and all are welcome!

Yesterday Hazel and I went along with a friend to visit her mother who is in her latter stages of dementia. We learn quite a bit from this women who I fell head over heels in love with. First we got a glimpse what my future will be like but also how misunderstood a patient can be.

When a patient says go away, you may think they are telling you to go away. Listen more closely and you may hear them say they want to go away and escape the horrors of this disease. While we were talking she was holding my hand and I felt a gentle squeeze every time she agreed with me. She was communicating with me, just not verbally. The sense of touch is so important when you are talking with your loved one.

Another patient grabbed my hand and started to talk to me about her yesterdays. I listened to her with the warmest feeling in my heart. When we left she told me, you kids come back. I felt the love we were sharing. Two strangers sharing our lives.

I have a mission, I have a purpose, sit down and listen to me, you may want to join.

I think this is a beautiful story which shows both compassion and insight to all of us caring for someone with Dementia.  I love how Harry embraced these people in end stages instead of being scared of them like most of us are, especially since he and Hazel know what is to come in their own life.

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