30 Secs Away Day`s
By Norrm’s McNamara
One minute my Angel Elaine is pointing out a hawk swooping down for its prey in the Devon countryside whilst driving through it, the next “WHAM” somebody has changed the channel in my mind!!
No longer am I sat next to the love of my life whilst she drives us through the Gods garden as we call it, but I am sat all alone, in a bare room with pictures and snapshots of my life surrounding me. They flash before my eyes, some good but mostly bad, tormenting me, teasing me and forcing me to close my eyes shut so tight it hurts, but yet the visions still come.
Then suddenly as if from nowhere, the fear sets in, the fear that turns your stomach that makes your hands tremble and beings to make you feel as you are suffering from seasickness!! Oh my God “I`m Dying” there is no cure!! I am only 56, I should have at LEAST 25 years in front of me, but I haven’t. A cure is at least 20 years away, I am six years down the line and nothing is on the horizon.
My heart sinks, the beads of cold sweat run down the side of my head and I begin to descend into the depths of despair, then, like a FLASH!! I AM BACK “” Back in the passenger seat, Elaine talking to me, asking me if I am ok? Gently rubbing my hand and telling me I was out of it for about 30 secs, and yet, I feel as if I have just experienced a lifetime of hurt and pain, and yet NO?? Only 30 secs??
As quick as this happened, I am now back in the land of the living, I have had my 30 sec “Away Day” once again, and this came as a little bit of a surprise to me because I didn’t know I had them regularly, but apparently they come and go but with no pattern or time scales whatsoever, now that does sound familiar!!
But here I am!! And here I intend to stay for as long as possible, doing what I do. Why am I still here? Because of YOU my wonderful brilliant friends!! Not that long ago, certainly in my lifetime, I would have been sectioned under the mental health act because of my “30 sec away days” but not anymore, and that is down to each and every one of you wonderful BRAVE people all over the world who raise awareness about this awful disease Dementia and explain to people that it’s not a form of Madness but a disease of the brain, because of YOU my friends, I am able to sit in the comfort of my own home and write what I am writing now!!
I owe my life to my Angel Elaine, that’s for sure!! But I also owe so much gratitude to each and every one of you for all you do, and for that I will be eternally grateful
Diagnosed six years ago and still fighting it!!!