Anniversaries Aren’t Always Happy

As I acknowledge another year of my Mother’s passing I am reminded once again of our deep connection and the impact she had on my life.  The good times, along with the sad times triggered by the immense loss I feel for her.

Yesterday, I sat with my good friend Anita, and I teared up speaking of my Mom.  It surprises me every year how I will react to the anniversary of not only my Mother’s passing, but my Father’s too.

Mom has been gone three years today and the anniversary of my Father will be rounding the corner in April.  This year, will make sixteen years Dad has been gone.  It’s hard to believe how much things have changed within our family.  The disconnection that has occurred which I’m not sure will ever be able to be repaired.

I think most people who have lost a loved one have mixed emotions for several years after like I do.  Sometimes, I can sit quietly feeling relaxed, loved and grateful for having the parents I had.  For having the relationships I’ve had with each of them.  For their gifts of beautiful life lessons they graced me with, which continue to enrich my life.

For each loss at different times, it can seem like they have been gone much longer and at other times it feels so fresh like it was yesterday. Will this sea saw ever end?  Will I ever come to a since of true peace without the massive sense of loss?

May each year get easier to find gratitude for those I have been lucky enough to love and been loved by.

May all on this journey called life find balance and a since of serenity by loving deeply knowing our connections are not lost only transformed to new levels.