Getting Through The Feelings

Getting through the feelings – EXERCISE

This next exercise is great for your mind, body, heart, and soul.  It is a fantastic journaling exercise, one that allowed me to write my book.   Please do not let the word journaling scare you off.  Some people think journaling is soft and mushy, not a “manly thing” to do, or something “weird” people do.  Others think of journaling as deep and confusing.  Please do yourself a favor.  Do not think that hard.  Relax.

 Journaling is simple, once you stop judging what journaling is supposed to be and just let the words flow.  You might find just jotting down keywords, not connected in any fashion at all, works for you; or maybe writing a poem does the trick.    There is no right or wrong way to journal. It is whatever works for you and there is no need to share it with anyone if you do not want to. 

By recalling my memories, I was once again laughing and crying as I pulled each of my chapters together.  It was a wonderful experience, to feel the emotions, and reclaim, that which has happened.  Now I am at a point where I feel the emotions, but my focus lies on what I have learned through the experience.  What these times have taught me.

Let’s get you started          

To begin, get something to write with and something to write in, or on.  It could be a journaling book or a napkin.  It does not make any difference.  Remember there are no rules!  I personally have several journals none are in any order, or sequence.  Sometimes I pick up a pad of paper and start writing.  I just decide what feels right to me at the time.  It is not the most efficient way to write, especially if you want to refer to your stories, at a later date.  Having no order for me was therapeutic in itself.  I then have to peruse through, all my writing.  I am always amazed at how I looked at things when I wrote it, to how I feel today.  Sometimes your thought process changes drastically over time.  It is actually very interesting in and of itself.

Next, write down an incident that happened.  Note as much detail as possible.  Don’t worry about making sense or being grammatically correct.  You are not writing to win an award or pass a test.  Make sure you cover the basics: who, what, where, when, why, what and how.  If you feel you cannot write something in story form, then don’t!  It is ok to just make notes by each of the basics, maybe for you this will mean using trigger words.

Third, feel the emotions your writing stirs within you.  Let the emotions consume your mind, body, heart, and soul.  This does not mean to get up and act on your emotions; for example letting your anger move you to action towards someone or something; like yelling at someone, or hitting something.  It means to sit down with yourself, all alone, and let your emotions process through your body.  This may mean screaming at the top of your lungs into the air, or laughing out- loud until you afraid you might not make it to the bathroom, or crying uncontrollably until your body shakes and shrives in pain.   Set a timer if you want, on how long you want to feel the emotions. Let them flow through your body until there is no more to process.  The point is, we all too often express our emotions inappropriately and hurt others, or our self; or we stuff our feelings burying them deep within us so no one , not even us.  By feeling our emotions, it allows our body, mind, heart, and soul to acknowledge the event happened.  We cannot move forward without completing this step.

Think about it.  How many people do you know dealing with loss, have turned to addictions to sooth and cover their pain?  As a society, we do this all the time.  It has been acceptable to ignore our emotions.  We must stop this thought process and move forward to regain control of our lives.

Last, and most important, focus on what you have learned from this experience.  Focus on the positive aspects of the event.   For every up there is a down.  For every negative, there is a positive.  Find it.  Cherish it, and move on.  Maybe you will even decide to share what you have learned with others, helping them avoid the same situation.

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