I am…

This is something I wrote several years ago but find it still fits today.

I am…

By Lori La Bey of Senior Lifestyle Trends
I would like to introduce myself.
I am a daughter and a sister
I am an aunt and a cousin
I am a mother
I am a divorced woman, a step-mom and step- grandma
I am a pet owner and a home owner
I am a worker – a writer, a speaker, a realtor, an educator
I am an employer – a supervisor, a team member, and a co-worker
I am a volunteer and an advocate
I am a friend
I am organized and task minded
I am competent and trusted
I am strong, yet I am weak

I feel overworked and underpaid
I feel unappreciated and overwhelmed

I get frustrated and sad
I get angry and depressed

I am exhausted
I am losing my spark, my balance, my individuality

I need to be understood and valued
I need to know you care
I need to see you care through your support
Through your guidance and patience
Through your flexibility and creative collectiveness
I need to feel your love

I am one of a vast many

We are a silent community
A hidden treasure bubbling in turbulence

Let the barrier of silence be broken today
Let the word spread and our roles be recognized
Let the world ease our burdens and provide products, services and tools to assist us
Let the world become compassionate and passionate advocates, embracing and developing a new hybrid caregiver – One which honors those we care for and who we are
Let the world preserve respect, independence and dignity for our elderly
Let the world provide balance and support to those who care for others

Yes, I would like to introduce myself. I am Lori. I am a caregiver. I am one of you.
I come wrapped in hope and breathing easier knowing I am not alone. I am one of you and you are one of me.
Together we can survive and thrive through this maze called Alzheimer’s

17 Replies to “I am…”

  1. That is very well said Lori. It does sum up the whole reason caregivers need the community you provide.
    Be proud of all you do.

    1. HI Julie
      Thanks for your comment. I appreciate hearing from my readers. It helps guide me to know what kind of information is useful and needed by those in our community.
      Thanks again for taking the time to write.

  2. Hi Lori…

    Just wanted to say hello and hope all is going well with you. How are things with your mother?

    Always something…my BFF has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, and it doesn’t help that her sister now has stage IV breast cancer with metastases.

    But wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and wish you well 🙂

    1. HI Michelle,
      So sorry to hear about your friend. That is always tough news. Hopefully they caught hers cancer earlier then her sister’s.

      thanks for asking about my Mom. Things are going as well as can be expected with Mom. The other day was a really good day. She was sitting in front of the window with the sun shining in on her and I tune on the music and she was so happy. She didn’t say a lot, but anything is something these days.

      Oh I almost forgot to tell you we arer going to be on thenews here locally tomorrow night. When it airs I’ll link the story so you can see it. You will be able to meet my Mom then! 🙂

      Love you girl. I appreciate you checking in. One day I would love to meet all the great people on your blog here.


      1. Can’t wait to see for the link. Pretty famous…huh…lol. Would love to meet your mom, seems as if I already know her, especially from your recent pictures 🙂

        Wouldn’t it be fun to meet?

        My son moved into my mom’s house. He will be staying there with my brother also. He is trying to find his way and I know my mom would want him to be there. He finally sounds like he is settling down and nothing would have made my mom happier. After we talked, I just cried and cried knowing my mother would be glad that we made the decision to have my son live there.

        Miss her so much…it hurts…

      2. HI Michelle,
        Oh neat that your son is living in your Mom’s house. She is supporting and guidinig him in a new way now.

        And yes it would be wonderufl to meet in person. I feel like we are soul sisters as we have shared so much with each other through our Mothers.

        Famous…oh that’s funny. LOL Just a girl on a mission that’s all

        Have a great day!


      3. Hi Lori 🙂

        Hope all is going well with you today. We have finally had a break with this weather. It was starting to be too much…lol

        Just wanted you to know that I received a very pleasant from the staff from Hospice Compassus. They were truly interested in how I was feeling. I thought it was sweet because my mom has been gone since January 7th, and to think that they were following up on ME was so special. The sympathy card that they sent me was so nice and was signed individually by all the staff who cared for my mom. I mentioned to her that I have not received a call from the nursing home staff and she said that since my mom has passed they have a new administrator and maybe staff will be trained to show empathy and compassion when our love ones pass away.

        Kiss your mom for me and take care Lori.

      4. HI Michelle

        It’s so good to hear from you. I’ve been wondering how things are going with you.

        I was getting sick of winter too. Sounds like in Mn, we might get another storm, but I hope not. Enough is enough! I guess I really shouldn’t complain given what other parts of the world are going through though.

        It is wonderful that hospice is staying connected with you. It’s hard when everyone gets on with their lives and you’re still dealing with the loss of a loved one. I remember from when my Dad died. He passed in 2001 and I still miss him and have moments of great pain and grief, but I then try to focus on all the wonderful times and beautiful moments we had. That gives me balance, knowing I couldn’t miss him like I do if I didn’t love him like I did. I try to focus on just how lucky I was to have such a great Dad. I actually have had friends tell me they were jealous growing up because I had such loving and caring parents. Back then I don’t think I appreciated the full value of what they meant.

        You make a great point of the nursing home not reaching out and staying connected. If you don’t mind I would love to share your comment in some training sessions, I’ve developed for staff. They are very powerful when coming from a family member. Staff seems to get how important their connection with families and their residents are. It’s been fun doing the training as it has been received so well. Let me know if it would be ok to share what you’ve written in the classes.

        Gotta run – Love ya – Stay in Touch!


  3. Lori,

    I was just lurking on the site and found the clip of you and your mother. It was beautiful and made me cry…good tears though :).

    Your mother was really “connecting” with that song. I noticed how she was singing the exact words.

    You are such a strong woman and your “gift” helps so many caregivers.

    Love you Lori and have a wonderful weekend. Kiss mom for me and tell her I asked about her 🙂

    1. HI Michelle
      You made me laugh when you said you were lurking around the site! Glad you had good tears, me too. Mom really was connecting with the music. It is such a powerful and everyday tool we can all use. I will kiss Mom and tell her all about you and how you have helped me through this maze as well.

      Thanks for your support

  4. Perfect!Great! This helped so much! I’ve read a few
    rather confusing sites lately, this cleared up some confusion I had.

  5. Perfect!Great! This helped a lot! I’ve read several
    rather confusing sites lately, this cleared up some confusion I had.

  6. Absolutely – you have my permission.

    I had the same experience with my dad. He was a wonderful man and protective father.

    When he died from a massive heart attack I was devastated. I thought I would never, ever get over the death of my dad. He died in 1993 and my son at the time was 6 years old. They were extremely close. When my dad retired he would take care of my son during the day, and when my mother would get home from school (teacher) she would take over.

    I still remember fondly how my friends would envy my family because we had a mother and father who loved us dearly. That is why it was so hard for me when he died. I was married at the time to my first husband…when my dad died…that is when I finally had to grow up. Even though I was 38 at the time of his death, I felt cheated and more so for my son who was so close to my father.

    Don’t know how weird this sounds, but I ached more for my dad when he died and felt relief for my mother when she passed away. I guess because she suffered so much prior to her death and I knew that death would bring her relief.

    Lori, I realize I am off topic many times on your website. Thanks so much for allowing me to vent and hopefully others will learn something from my personal experiences. I certainly have learned so much from you.

    Have a great day 🙂

    1. HI Michelle
      There is no “off topic” here. One aspect of our lives rolls right on in and sometimes over another part of our life, so there is no need to apologize. I don’t think there’s a better place to vent then to other Cargivers. We get it!

      I totally understand what you were saying and how you felt about your
      Dad’s passing compared to your Mom’s. Makes perfect sense to me. 🙂

      Thanks for giving me permission to use your exmaple in training sessions!

      Have a great evening.

  7. I’ve been checking your blog for a while now, seems like everyday I learn something new 🙂 Thanks

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