Small pleasures from an ever so still body

Small pleasures from an ever so still body

By Lori La Bey of Senior Lifestyle Trends

I saw my Mother briefly a week ago prior to leaving on a trip. I would be gone for a week. On the day I visited she was in bed sleeping. I tried to connect with her but it was difficult. She was tired and she just wanted to rest. So, I found myself crawling in bed with her once again to snuggle. I’m not sure at this point who gets more comfort from our cuddling me or her, but I guess it really doesn’t matter. It’s all about our connection and feeling close to one another. As I curled up next to her I gently massaged her temples and rubbed her chest lightly like she used to do to me when I was ill as a small child. As I did this, Mom cooed like a baby and melted my heart once again. It is the small pleasures I notice in that ever so still body that keeps drawing me back to her.

Today I returned from my trip and swung by to see Mom. She was in the dining room taking a cat nap between dinner and the evening snack. I greeted her with a warm hello, took her hand gently in mine, and asked her to “Pucker up.” That’s our code to kiss. I’ve used this technique with my Mom for many years now. I’ve found it helpful to have a routine, use the same words and tone to develop a code between the two of us. It seems to help our communication by having patterns which instill triggers for routines and tasks. Please realize this is not something I did in the beginning, thirty years ago when she stated having problems, but something that just seemed appropriate as she went back in time. Typically Mom would giggle and then automatically pucker her lips as I swoop in for my kiss.

Today was different. She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out. I joked I didn’t want a French kiss. I asked her again, “Pucker up Mom I’m coming in for a kiss.” Once again she opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue. This time she wiggled her tongue a bit. It made me giggle and I thought it best to just sneak in and grab a kiss. When I did this she seemed surprised. I told her thanks for the kiss and asked her if she wanted to pucker up for another one. She then smiled and puckered her lips for me. I smiled and bent down and gave her another kiss and hug. It’s funny how reactions change day to day, moment from moment with this disease. I’ve found it best to go with the flow and use humor. No matter what happens, you have to admit this disease is not boring or routine. It’s amazingly interesting especially when you look for the small signs within the changes.

13 Replies to “Small pleasures from an ever so still body”

    1. HI Deborah
      Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate hearing from you. Alzheimer’s sure is an interesting ride. No one can say it is boring and prdictable that is for sure!
      Enjoy your day.


  1. I so agree with the variety in this disease. No day is ever the same. It is one of the small pleasures we can take as caregivers. This is certainly not a boring position.

  2. Your mother is really lucky to have a daughter who is willing to go to the lengths you do to keep her in the loop of life. I continue to be amazed at your compassion for her. A great number of people are so afraid of this disease that they don’t touch their loved and they become so disconnected that they stop visiting them over time. Keep up the happiness! It made my day. Enjoy your vacation.

    1. Bushkarogfa

      Thank you so much for writing. Your comments filled my heart and soul and brought tears to my eyes Your wods reassured me I am on the right path. I also have to tellyou I jsut visited your blog and wow, what powerful writing on such sensitive topics. I will be adding your blog to not only my blog roll here on this site but on my resource website at

      If for some reason you don’t want to be listed just let me know and I will honor your request and remove such.

      Thank you for following my blog and taking the time to write.


  3. Hi Lori,

    Such a sweet connection that you had with your mother. She certainly has a wonderful sense of humor and she makes me smile with the funny things she does.

    Hope you enjoyed your vacation.

  4. Hi Lori

    What I wouldn’t give to talk to my mom again 🙁 I miss her so much.

    I’m fine, just feeling a little low. Received a letter from the hospice personnel and they wanted to know how I was doing. They are just wonderful people.

    It is so hot here where I live and its draining on the body. Plan on staying home this weekend and not coming out until its time to come back to work on Monday. We’ll probably just watch movies and eat…lol

    Still having issues with my son not finding employment. It just never ends.

    Enjoy your weekend Lori and will talk to you soon.

    1. HI Michelle,

      So nice to hear from you. I’ve been wondering what you’ve been up to. Sorry to hear it’s so hot where you are. It’s been hot here too. Last week I was at a friend’s lake home so it didn’t bother me a bit. This week, well I don’t even know where the time went. I overbooked my schedule after taking a week away and I haven’t even had a chance to notice the heat! LOL

      I can only imagine the day my Mom passes and not having her to visit. .. There is going to be a big big void for me. Even though she doesn’t talk I still feel her presence deep within me. I am hoping on a spiritual level that connection stays between us when it is her time. She is failing more and sleeping lots more, but the good thing is she is peaceful and for that I am thankful.

      Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish for you inner peace…and that your son lands a job! LOL My daughter too is looking for work, so I so get where you are coming from on that.

      Love ya!

      Enjoy your weekend


  5. My brother recommended I might like this website. He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

The reCAPTCHA verification period has expired. Please reload the page.