The Clock Never Ticks So Loudly As When Waiting For A Loved One To Pass
By Lori La Bey of Senior Lifestyle Trends
Here is a communication between a wonderful daughter and myself. She is struggling in her Mother’s last hours on hospice. We have been communicating privately and I know as we’ve talked before she is ok with me sharing communications. Her struggle is a common one on many levels. Please read her comments and my response. This blog was started and will continue to be a tools to learn from each others experiences.
Hi Lori…my mom is still hanging in there, but today I went to make final funeral arrangements for her since they seem to be giving her 24-72 hours to live. I simply cannot go back to visit my mom anymore, it’s just too much. I do not want to sit there and wait for her to die. Making those final arrangements were tough but I had my husband with me who helped me not make too many hasty decisions.
I’m home now resting, just took a sleeping pill and ready to sleep for the night. I am so mentally exhausted by this.
You are in my thoughts and hope you are back to feeling well again 🙂
My response to this wonderful daughter in need of support –
I’m so sorry. I know how draining all this is on you. I’ve been there and lived it with my Father. It sounds like you should be able to get a good night’s sleep. I’m glad to hear that. It’s wonderful your husband is so supportive. For that you are extremely lucky. Let him take care of you, when you are too exhausted to do it yourself. Let him protect you, as it gives him the opportunity to express how much HE LOVES YOU!
Also know it’s ok if you can’t sit with your Mom until the heavens part and accept your Mother into all their glory. She will understand and you have to remember you’ve done your work with her. She knows how you feel and how difficult this transition is on you. Many times people won’t pass with loved ones near if they know it will be too difficult on them. So rest assured, you are doing the right thing for you and that is what your Mother would want. I can tell from your writings the bond you two hold. You don’t want her in pain and she doesn’t wish that on you either.
Be proud of how you have, and continue to handle this journey. You are filled with loving intentions and it spills over to all you write, and I’m sure ,all you do and touch.
Remember the reaction you got from your Mother when you told her you loved her. How she came out of her cocoon and expressed acknowledgement of you words and touch. I would imagine that memory will be hard to beat. Never release that feeling of joy you had. Your Mother knows you love her and want what is best for her, and that you have fought to make sure she is comfortable, safe, and pain free.
You have been your Mother’s guardian angel through this process, and she will soon be yours. Embrace the thought of always being connected, no matter where each of you is. You have a divine connection through love and in love with your Mother.
Sleep tight. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I’m here is you need me.