Insights From Norrms on

Living With Lewy Body

Unspoken Words

By Norrms McNamara, in his own words

The shouting was getting louder and louder, the awful shouting, ringing in my ears, so many voices, no many unrepeatable words echoing around my mind. As I awoke a FACE appeared in the darkness of my bedroom, it hovered over me, sneering and foaming at the mouth, grinning with sickening intent of what was behind the eyes!! I screamed as loud as I could, fully conscious and fully understanding the fear that ran through my bones!!

Just another night in the Mc Namara household, Elaine held on to me tight until I had stopped shaking, stopped sweating and more so, stopped babbling on, making no sense at all to anyone else except me. As the morning dawns, I am up, no matter what time it is, no matter how early, just to make sure that my “Angel” gets some sleep at least, no matter how tired I am later on. Whilst I am still able to do this, I will, if it means that the love of my life gets a few hours more sleep it’s worth the while getting up so early.
The night terrors / HALLUCINATIONS AND ALL THAT Lewy Body’s brings means this is something that happens every night, without fail, sometimes as many as ten/fifteen times a night, sometimes as little as three, but always EVERY NIGHT! It stays with you for the rest of the day. Sometimes, during the day, I have no idea what’s real or not. Sometimes I believe I am still in a dreamlike state and I shout and act totally out of character.

And yet, sometimes, just sometimes, through this fog of deceit that envelopes our brain, our thinking and way of life I see in somebody else’s eyes that they also understand. It might be in a cafe, restaurant or even queuing in a shop, but just now and again when I have been loud or awkward, I spot a quick glance coming my way, and it’s not a glance of disdain or disgust, but a glance of warmth and empathy. UNSPOKEN WORDS can mean so much sometimes, so very much.

Norrms xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx