As caregivers it’s easy to feel emotionally alone.  For many of us, the holidays magnify that feeling, but there is hope in understanding and acceptance of our loved ones.   The words below are in memory of my Mother.

As caregivers it’s easy to feel emotionally alone.  For many of us, the holidays magnify that feeling, but there is hope in understanding and acceptance of our loved ones.   The words below are in memory of my Mother.

Sidelines

By P.K. Beville

I’m humbled, gazing from the sidelines,

to see the magnificence of the human spirit

with hazy clarity in my Mother.

I’m awed by her grandeur

and the silent suffering that is this disease

as it tangles with both of us.

I watch her sit in a vacuum as the rubber-stamp days

tumble around her

and wonder where she dwells.

I see a thought grasp at the edges of reason

then move beyond her reach.

My childish attempts to help sting my face like a slap.

Inadequacy overwhelms me as I witness our

desperate attempts for interaction

at any level…and at any price.

I’m stilled, listening from within

though the sound is muffled,

and we warily peek around the veil between our minds.

Flashes of recognition dance on the edge of thought

like bumping on the edge of a record.

Once exposed, I SEE her and we are one.

Thinking for her.

Anticipating for her.

Loving her.

No sideline.

Not anymore.

P.K. Beville is the

Founder & CEO, Second Wind Dreams®

Author, Virtual Dementia Tour®