Today was a Gift of Connection.
There is Reason to Celebrate! By Lori La Bey
Please read the response I received from Michelle after she went to visit her non responsive Mother. Keep in mind Michelle and her Mother had a great relationship over the years but never really showed affection to one another, like a physical hug or saying I love you. Today is a day to celebrate old patterns being broken and new connections being made. Michelle and I have been communicating for a few days now and if you would like to read all correspondence please scroll down to the right side where comments are posted and you can read from the beginning.
From Michelle today 10/31/09
I did it. I went to see mom…and my husband waited for me in the car. I just wanted time alone with mom. I went into her room where she was in bed and for the first time I caressed her face, felt how soft it was and told her that I loved her…can you believe it? I told her that I was happy enjoying my life, and that my sisters and brother were doing well. I told her to “let go” and that it was okay to so. I talked to her about her mother and that I look forward to seeing her when God will be making all “things new”, where persons who die will be made whole again and that I look forward to seeing her come back as my mother with her whole mind again. All of a sudden she started to mumble and move around. It was so deep to see her do that because otherwise she just lays there. When I repeatedly told her that I loved her she had movement. I really felt that I connected. I just wanted her to know that I was okay and that she could rest. Didn’t stay long, but the visit was a good one.
I also did something I never did before, I moistened a towel and wiped her lips and put some lotion on her face. just the sheer touching of her face was so deep and profound, it moved me to tears. never did that before. I am so glad that i had this experience and I thank you for sharing that video with me and also thank you for sharing your thoughts and encouraging words with me.
I will check in with you on Monday. Going to spend the day with my husband tomorrow and just relax. I finally feel good with myself.
Thanks again 🙂
This is the video I recommend Michelle watch:
I want you to go to this website and watch some short videos. Be prepared to cry as it is so moving. The woman in the video is Naomi Feil. She grew up in Nursing homes and has a whole wonderful and amazing philosophy on communication with Alzheimer’s patients. I’ve seen her in person. She is INCREDIBLE!
Promise me you’ll try to watch this before your visit. The second video down is the one I for sure want you to watch. You will see from the video they are inside that shell.
Here is my response to Michelle-
OH MY GOSH Michelle,
First I have to say I’m so sorry if my reply is late today. I have been thinking of you all day and checking my messages when I can, but I was in a conference all day.
I am so excited for you. I had tears streaming down my face and a huge smile to boot, as I read of your day with your Mother. What a FANTASTIC DAY! What a FANTASTIC MOMENT TO REMEMBER!
Your description of your Mother’s response, allowed me to feel all over again the connection I have with my Mother. For others, it will give hope and set another example of courage to connect. To try something new and different. Be those connections rare or not, they exist and are so powerful
Thank you again for sharing your story. You have been a true blessing to so many who read this blog. Your courage and honesty are appreciated by us all.
Now, I hope you go have a wonderful Halloween and celebrate your new passage of affection and connection with your Mother. All of this happening on a holiday may make this experience even more precious, as you will be remind of it ever year to come.
Know your story will empower many!
Thank you again