Understanding Your Bouncing Ball
CAREGIVER BOUNCING BALL
Caregiving is no easy task even when you want to do it. Keep in mind in order to care for anyone well, you first must take of yourselves. This was a tough lesson for me to learn and I thank a handful of girlfriends who did not give up on me.
I was so busy taking care of everyone else I refused for a couple of months, to take ½ hour out of my week, to sit down and have coffee with friends. When I finally gave in very exhausted, and said “yes,” the ½ turned into 2 hours weekly. I found myself rejuvenated, full of energy and ready, willing, and able to go back to the tasks at hand. We laughed and cried. It was a powerful lesson. Feeding our souls is not something we openly discuss or are taught to do, but it is necessary to be healthy and affective, not only for others but for ourselves. My friends gave a miraculous gift me.
Below is a sample list of priorities and tasks in three categories. You may have more or less categories, priorities, or tasks. That part is irrelevant, just jot down the things that are important to you. Do not forget to write down your goals that are inclusive of all your categories. Now, the one thing on this list you cannot change is you must always is to start and end with YOU! It may sound silly and even look funny when you write it down, but as a society we usually do not write ourselves into the equation, especially once we become adults.
Home Work Social
YOU YOU YOU
Spouse Boss Friends
Children Peers Family
Grandkids Clients Business
Stepchildren Projects Hobbies
Parents Benefits Relaxation
School Income Learning
Activities Position Exercise
Extended Family Promotion Vacation
YOU! YOU! YOU!
YOUR GOALS:
Balance
Energy
Relationships
Responsibilities
Money
Vacations…
What a wonderful reminder!! Great exercise. As the old quote says, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else. Thanks, for the reminder, Lori!
Thanks for the feed back Beth. One of these days I’m going to get my book on Alzheimer’s done and in print which will have alot of fun easy exercises and techniques people can implement in their lifes. I have a new appreciation for Authors, like yourself.
Hi Lori,
I love reading your posts. I am a caregiver for my husband with Frontotemporal Dementia and my journey has been fascinating and enriching. It took a couple of years to begin seeing the joy and lightness in my life, but it is better now than before. (may sound odd to some people)
Your comments about taking of yourself is a great reminder to all of us in this situation. When I read Alta’s blog on Boys Don’t Cry, it was emotional reading he felt that he was losing both of his parents.
The statistics aren’t in our favour of doing well as caregivers, so I applaud you for sharing your messages. It is nice to read information that isn’t doom and gloom. Your writings will help me and other people to feel less overwhelmed and frightened throughout the course of our journey.
Thank you
Holly
HI Holly
Thank you for your nice comments. I’m glad to hear you too have found a new peace within the craziness. It’s like trying to explain to people that you got this “special gift” All they see is this huge overwhelming package. But you on the other hand, you have taken the time to explore all of the box. Like a little kid who finds more pleasure in the wrappings than the toy. You have found through your exploration the rare yet brillant gift hidden deep inside the wrappings, deep inside the box. An oh so small light that beams brightly. It’s hard for us who have seen the light, to understand how others can not see it’s brightness and beauty, but hopefully they too will see it some day.
Only the best to you and your family. Let the light continue to shine brightly!
Lori
Lori,
When you write, it seems like your words are already inside my head. I am thrilled to meet someone who understands the ‘lighter’ and richer side of life’s challenges. It sounds like you have found your purpose and passion in your writing–sharing your knowledge and experience with other people. It is wonderful to have met you.
Best to you, your Mom and your family,
Holly
Hi Holly,
I too feel like our souls have a connection. It is so interesting how life spins and sways. I enjoy the ability to be free like bird pumping my wings hard to soar freely and glide , or dive bomb just for the fun of it! You are so right about feeling like I have found my purpose and passion. This experience has been life changing for me on so many levels. Such a gift. Such a blessing wrapped in what I thought was an awful fate.
Let’s stay in touch. I’d love to her more about how you and your husband are doing if your up to sharing.
Take care and my you too soar like bird!
Lori
Hi Lori,
It feels so wonderful to be connecting with you. You speak my language and understand the deeper meaning of what we are going through.
Thanks for asking about my husband, Dave. He is doing very well–much better than the doctors expected. He has a great attitude and I am learning my biggest lesson from him…surrendering and accepting life as is.
Like you, I am in the process of writing a book, although it sounds like you are quite a bit farther along. Writing is a new art for me. I was a math and pe student!
If you are interested in reading more about our journey, you can go to my new website (www.hollyeburne.com). It contains the articles and blog posts since end of June. I told you I was new to this!
Love keeping in touch. Can hardly wait to read your book.
Warmly,
Holly
HI Holly
I’m so glad to hear your husband is doing so well. That is fantastic! Congrats. I’m sure it has to do with both of your attitudes. Attitude can make or break any situation.
As for my the book wiritingI’ve always enjoyed writing even as a very young child. We have a great place here locally in Minnesota called the LOFT. The instructors are exceptional to say the least. I am reviewing my manuscript for the last time this week prior to sending it out to editors for bidding. From there it is pinning down who I want to publish with. I’ve decided not to try to go through a large publishing house as it can take years and I just want the book done and out for people to use.
If you have any questions along the way with your book I’d be glad to help if I can.
I will check out your website shortly.
I had to laugh when you said you are new to this blogging. You’ve been doing it way longer then me. I just started this month. Anyways I’m pretty sure it was this month, now I’m curous and will have to check!
Hope your having a great day!
Let the light warm your heart and soul
Lori
Hi Lori,
Wow! That is great news about your book. You must be very proud of yourself to be in the final stages before handing it over to the editor. A book like yours is definitely needed.
I know what you mean about speeding up the process of getting your book out to the readers. Many times I begin to panic. I wanted my book published yesterday, but I have to be patient. Patience is another one of a long list of lessons I am learning. I thought I had learned enough raising 2 children. Apparently not!
Congratulations!!!!
Warmly,
Holly
Hey Holly
I just went out to your site it looks great, but I had a bit of a problem. It’s probably on my end it usually is when it comes to computers! I read your home page, signed up for you 30 day article and right after that all the text changed language. Don’t ask me how. I didn’t see any buttons I could have touch to even do that but you might want to check and see what you get. All the titles were still in english, just not the contnet. Like I said it’s probably just me at my end, but I thought I should let you know. I have the magic touch you know! LOL
I was very impressed with all the social media you are doing WOW I’m just not that techy yet, but i’m working on it. I think I figured out today how to create a cause on facebook. It took forever and it kept saying I didn’t pick a beneficary for my cause that they were aware… Alzheimer’s Assoc excuse me. Oh me and computers I tell you!
As far as your writing goes, one thing I’ve learned is to go with the flow. I really wanted my book done one year ago but I would have missed so many lessons that need to be in the book in that years times. I feel it will be a much better book due to the wait.
Say last, I lied, I looked up when I started my blog and it’s been just over one month 7/22/09 is it’s birthday!
Take care Lori
Hi Lori,
Thanks for letting me know about my site. I checked it out and it seems to be working okay. I know what you mean about computers. Do they ever pick up on my energy! I have a story about fruit flies and my computer. Maybe some day when we chat on the phone I will tell you about it.
I signed up to follow your blog and I didn’t have any problems. Great work Lori!
One more thanks…for your reminder about not rushing my writing. You are right about the lessons I will be learning along the way. I know if I forced the book 6 months, it would be far different than today. So I am going to be patient and let life unfold perfectly. At least that is the plan!
Have a wonderful day!
Holly
ps. I am at a Usana Health Sciences convention in Salt Lake(one of my other businesses) and all I want to do is sit in my hotel room and write and stay connected. Best be going to class!
HI Holly
It’s hard when the bug to write hits you and your suppose to be somehwere else. You just have to decide whats your goal. Maybe you can ask the writing Gods to work with your schedule. Ask them to drop you a phrase here and there while you are at the conference. Yyou can wirte it down and it will trigger your thoughts later. That’s what I do. Sometime I have a hard time leting go after I write the phrase, but for the most part it has worked well for me!
Good Luck
I would love to talk sometime.
Lori
Hi Lori,
Thanks again for your advice. I am figuring out a balance between my courses and hibernating in my hotel room with my computer. It has been a great, growing experience–learning to be true to myself without being affected by what people might say.
I continue to be amazed at the number of people who are affected by Alzheimer’s or related dementia AND who are craving to read something other facts, figures and doom and gloom. I am excited for both of us because we are travelling similar paths–in many ways.
If you want to email me at heburne@telus.net, we can exchange phone numbers and speak in person when I get home.
Hope you are having a great day,
Cheers,
Holly
HI Holly
I will email you right now! It will be fun to actually talk by phone and then amybe one day in person!
Lori
Hi Lori,
Thanks so much for sending along your info. I tried sending a response back to you via regular email but it was bounced back. It may have something to do with being at a hotel and not getting through your filter. So I copied and pasted my message which can delete afterwards if you like. I left out the personal message just in case. Sorry about that.
It would be wonderful to connect in person! Is there a better time in the day or evening to phone (cell rates?)?
Very exciting to hear you are in the zone for writing! How is it going?
My new blog postings are published from my website (still on wordpress platform), but I am not sure you will receive notice when I post a new one. If you get a chance tomorrow would you let me know whether you received notice of my latest post from today. If not, then I will notify a few other followers. Thanks so much.
I will be home on Monday–let me know if that day works for you. I promise I won’t talk too long because I know you must be going pretty strong on finishing your book.
Have fun tonight. The break might be good.
Cheers,
Holly