Tomorrow My Mother Turns 84
She is a “New Years Baby”
It is hard to believe my Mom has been in the nursing home coming up on 11 years! The nice part is it was her decision to move in as my Father had declined with his cancer and need 24/7 care the last few months of his life. Mom wanted to be with him, memory loss or not. She might not have been able to pick out appropriate clothes to wear or tell time or date…but she remembered her relationship with my Father.
They had been married 49 1/2 years at the time. A goal I most likely will never hit due to my divorce but I still see as admiral and amazing. Kudos Mom and Dad for still being in love after all those years!
In all our planning as a family we some how forgot the “love” equation. The foundation of life. The impact of our relationships which gives us purpose to move forward and thrive as an individual. If there is one thing dementia has taught me is to never forget the “Love Equation.” Before making any decisions I try hard to sit back and ask what is the most important thing to maintain the relationship at hand. It’s amazing how many things are not important that you once held tight too. And this lesson is universal and can be used throughout your life, not just for times when you are dealing with someone with dementia.
Now please know, I’ve made my share of mistakes over this 30 year journey with my Mother and her dementia. There is no denying that. I’m sure if you asked any of my family or friends they would rattle off a list a mile long. The funny thing is, like life in general it’s always easier to see someone else make a mistake. For me the goal is to be humble and share those mistakes with others so we all may learn from them. That is one of the reasons I love my work so much. Not to point out mistakes and criticize, but to have an intelligent conversation about our feelings, our struggles and our failures and insecurities; but best of all our triumphs.
There is so much we can learn from one another. It would be a shame to miss out on these fabulous opportunities to share, collaborate and to make positive changes in our dementia care culture.
I look forward to a fabulous 2012 ahead and expanding our community here on Alzheimer’s Speaks. If you haven’t checked out our other platforms please do so.
Facebook We have a few fan pages listed if you search Alzheimer’s Speaks
Your help in spreading the word of our work would be greatly appreciated. If you have time to “Like Us”, “Tweet Us”, “Share Us” or “Link To Us” …
Well all I can say is THANK YOU for your help in spreading awareness!
Have a Spectacular New Year!
Pictures of Moms Birthday will be coming…