Poetry: The Long Goodbye

Here is another poem from one of our members, Joanne Souvercaze.

The Long Goodbye

By: Joanne Souvercaze

Aging is honorable, a distinguished experience that we are blessed to experience

Age brings wisdom, age creates a lifetime of experiences surrounded by love, faith, family and friends

Creating memories that are beautiful, significant, extraordinary yet some are sad and difficult

Life is not perfection, it is living and embracing each moment we are given

Sadly for some, time becomes less memorable, less distinguished, more debilitating, for those whom are diagnosed with dementia (in our father case…Lewy Body dementia)

An experience so debilitating, disabling and difficult for all loved ones involved

Dementia for many, can be difficult to accept

As time goes on, so goes the mind

So says the one who has been diagnosed….

I don’t believe I have this condition called dementia, for I feel fine

They say I do, but I won’t accept it, not for sometime

Eventually I will have no choice, for I will have no knowledge of this thing called dementia and will be forced to accept what I do not know

They begin to take away my privileges, for why, I don’t understand

Is it because I now see images

I cannot drive is what they say, but I believe I can, I don’t understand

As said the father whom was diagnosed

As time goes on, so goes the mind

I knew you and loved you in days past, I know you and love you today, but tomorrow for I may not know your name or remember how much I loved thee

I cannot comprehend my thoughts

confused and scared each day

I want to fix this thing they say

that makes me so confused each day

I did not sign up for this I vow

just take me to the doctor now

My pride is gone and all my rights

I feel alone, misunderstood and oh so frightened

As said the father whom was diagnosed

As time goes on, so goes the mind

I need to go to where I know, for I feel this is not my home

Why do they keep me locked up here, for when my home is oh so near

I try to walk, they bring me back, they don’t understand…. I am a man

They say I must, this is my home, I do not care too, I have no say

I reached an age where I was free, free to choose my own way, but now….no more

I’m oh so tired watching these people, so many exhaust me, for I just need rest

All I ask is peace and quiet, and please remove these unwanted guest

Take me back to the home I remember, so I can stay forever, until my dying day

As said the father whom was diagnosed

As time goes on, so goes the mind

As time passes so do my precious memories, of my loved ones near and far,

for soon I won’t know who you are

I knew and loved you yesterday, somewhat today, for tomorrow I may not know your name

I yearn to have my family near, yet when they are…I oh so fear, and push them far away, for the confusion is overwhelming

These strangers once I knew and loved, but now I know no more

Although this disease may have defeated, my love for you is ever eternal

Please know how much you meant to me, for when I forgot you, you were kind to me. And at those times I fought with thee, you never ever gave up on me

Deep in my heart my love for you, will always be, will always stay, until my dying day, until that last heartfelt beat

As time goes on, so goes the mind

Near the end I ask of you, are you my son are you my daughter, yes you answer, then that is why you so kind to me, please forever remember I loved all of thee

The end is near, although I may fear, I will be eternally with my dear wife once more, for that is where I want to go

And when I pass I pray you know, how deeply I loved you all, then, now and through eternal life my darling children

As time goes on, so goes the mind